Celibacy

Before yesterday's interview, I NEVER thought I'd run across anyone celibate. This youthful 20-something Asian, whom I prejudged to the hilt, has been through a lot. Being from an extremely rigid Christian family, when he came out, he came out hard--in all the unhealthy ways. There were drugs, excessive sex, drinking...we know the drill. Once, he awoke from a drunken stooper to discover he'd been raped by two guys he'd turned down earlier in a bar.

I have a lot of respect for this guy. Being celibate for anyone, especially in this society, is a major accomplishment. But to be celibate, conventionally attractive, gay, and in your 20's? That's serious shit.

Here's some of what he shared: "When I came out I went crazy with trying to find an identity...[sex] isn't something you should let overcome you...I masturbate all the time...white men think all Asians are bottoms...they see me on Facebook and think I'm just this dumb, easy person..."

We need these stories.

Rosebud

Here are excerpts from three poems from feti(sh)ame. Please note that in gay culture "boy" refers to a man.

Rosebud

At Babylon
I fingered a Thai regular.
He had English enough
to tell me his dreams.
And if you know how a Thai boy
can make you remember years from that moment
even the faint rising music of his voice...

Uncut

When the clean-shaven one
with the black Porsche asked me
not to clean it
I understood the poetry
in his appetite...

moan

why haven't i ever
needed you
black porno
with your slim,
veined do-ragged trade,
too rough and tatted tough
to moan or make any sound
like it hurts good or bad...

Sharing and Sharpening

I read a few feti(sh)ame poems at the final reading in the Jack Straw Writers Series last Friday. It was only the second time I'd shared any of those poems in public. Not one person said anything to me about them. I did receive a FB friend request from an audience member who thanked me, specifically, for writing about fetishes. Other than that, nothing. I'm going to keep presenting these poems at various readings in and outside of the SF bay area to see what's working and what needs work. Tomorrow, if it works out, I'll go over to Mojo Bicycle Cafe and see what they think.